Damned Monday, and other musings
Today I woke up with a smile inside. This happens occasionally, and while I’m not sure why I feel this way I’m content to wear the smile, both inside and out. Smiles are always better than pouts.
Last week I found a 1″ button badge that said “Damned Mondays” with cute little frowning eyes below the text. Today would have been perfect for wearing that button. Alas, it’s sitting at home sharing a lovely relaxing day with my suitcase.
Despite my inner smile (which is still here, by the way) it seems that not too many of the people I spend my working days with feel the same way. Which is sad, because Mondays could be so much better than we let them be.
Prior to the last two and a half years, I was never someone who hated Mondays. And I don’t really hate them. I just dislike how much Mondays seem to be shitake-hitting-the-fan days. Office politics, crummy moods, whispering, gossip.
After a week of being away on vacation, I am back at work. Only two of my coworkers have asked me how my vacation was. And just one other gave me a warm smile and welcomed me back. Now, I work in a small office in a large space. There’s nary more than 15 people there at any given time. But I had hoped that it would have been obvious that I was gone, missing from my desk for an entire work week. I don’t know why I hoped for more than that. Even a “good morning” would have been nice, if nothing else.
But this is not a pity party. This post has a purpose.
It is days like this, where the frustration, tension and bad feelings in my workplace abound, that it’s most important I remind myself I choose to feel the way that I feel. Nobody makes me feel anything I don’t want to feel. Nobody puts me in a bad mood but me, myself, and I.
I could spend so much of my day today feeling hurt about the coworkers who walk by me and glance at me or ignore me, without ever saying “good morning”, “hello”, or “how are you?” I could get irked by the lack of common courtesy and passive aggressive language people use with each other. I could get anxious about the sidelong, sarcasm-filled glances I get that are looking for me to commiserate but make me want to flee to the safety of the bathroom stalls instead. I could use so much of my energy feeling bad about things. But I won’t. I have better things, more exciting things, to spend that energy on by daydreaming, planning, and being excited about good things to come.
I’m not always good at putting aside negative thoughts and feelings. Some days I fail horribly, awfully, miserably. Today, like other days that I am successful at it, I manage to blow a big raspberry at those negative nasties and go on feeling good about the things that I am happy about.
And while I go along on my way today, I am also learning that I need to be an example of what I want to see in the world. And when I’m better at this, the smile on the inside will be on the outside a lot more.
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Random ramblings for today:
A search on Flickr for Creative Commons content labeled with “Monday” comes up with a curious number of photos of just legs and feet.
Overheard at Gorilla Food in downtown Vancouver: “You can’t have enough vegetables in the house when you go vegetarian. You need a wheelbarrow to carry it all!” This is when the vegan gets to ask, “If you don’t eat vegetables, what do you eat?”
I’ve been gone for just a week and already the cement divider for the segregated bike lanes down Dunsmuir Street have been laid. That was quick! Why don’t other progressive things happen quite as quickly and smoothly here in Vancouver?
I find it more than dismaying that most of the focus on the Gulf Oil spill has largely avoided discussing the impact on wildlife and marine life, except to the extent that the shrimp and oyster fisheries could be wiped out.
For us ladies, why do some of us feel like we have to hide our unshaven legs or apologize for them? What’s more, why do so many others condemn us when we appear other than smoothly shaven?
I’m working on just walking or biking everywhere. And I’m moving toward making my own clothes instead of buying them new. I really ought to stop drinking bottled water from the water fountain at work and just drink tap water.